Young people today need implicit and explicit
assurance that entry into
sexual maturity is not predicated on “experience.”

Growing in celibate chastity

By Paul A. McGavin

n Growth is a condition of life. Even into old age, we still “grow”; even into a “good death,” we “grow.” Celibate chastity is, however, not a death to sexuality, but a way of living of human sexuality that is both a gift and an oblation. We can only offer that which we possess, and the “holy exchange of gifts” in a life of celibate chastity necessarily calls for sexual maturity. “Maturity” itself matures, and the oblation, the struggles, and the joys differ with age.1

I am less qualified to talk about celibate chastity for women, or even for single men or religious brothers. My experience (and the target audience of this journal) is more with those in the Sacred Ministry and those searching a call to and preparing for the Sacrament of Orders. I have no more expertise (perhaps less) than most of my readers, and this article draws upon the experience of others and on selected literature. I have chosen mostly to use the first person “I” throughout (rather than “we” or “one”), because I want to write in a way of “sharing my understanding,” rather than in an “expert” way.

I am still growing in maturity, and my discerning the gift and growing into it has been difficult and uneven. I am keenly aware of the need for priests to be “fathers,”2 for my own father was bedridden when I was 4 and died when I was 8, and my entry into manhood was lonely. I am keenly aware of the need for sound Catholic catechesis as not until my adult years was my growth into celibate chastity supported by the fullness of Catholic faith, with my entry into full communion with the Catholic Church. My Catholic life has had far too much exposure to the prevalent “protocol” responses that characterize the dealing with the incidence of sexual abuse in the Catholic Church in Australia (e.g., Integrity in Ministry),3 and far too little exposure to the vitality of the Tradition of the Church in magisterial documents and in holy and joyful priestly lives. I seek in this brief article to share something of what I have learned from living and praying, reading, sharing with close friends, and pastoral experience. The documents of the Church, in speaking of nurturing the gift of celibate chastity, refer to “natural and supernatural means” (e.g., Opt tot 10, Presb ord 16, Sac cael 74). This brief article takes as given that “a true spiritual life . . . alone provides a solid foundation for the observance of celibate chastity” (Sac cael 75). The article has more to say on “natural” issues,4 as these have generally had inadequate attention, and I follow the maxim, “grace builds upon nature.” My hope is that this article will lead others to contribute further insights by way of an article or letter or note on Growing in Celibate Chastity.

Discerning the gift

Human sexuality in Catholic understanding is directed to generative and unitive fulfillment in marriage (e.g., Hum vit 11). So stating the fulfillment of human sexuality nevertheless gives a genital focus, whereas human sexuality is far more embracing. From the viewpoint of moral theology and its pastoral application, a genital focus is often necessary in order to support the objectivity of moral acts and for clarity in what is “ordered” and “disordered” in sexual behavior (e.g., BHS 1, Fam cons 32, Ver splen 80). It nevertheless remains true that our sexuality is larger than its genital aspect, and our sexuality embraces the whole person.5 Our religious nature, our spirituality and prayer life, our mental life, our physical lives, etc., are all infused with and express our sexuality. Our “at-home-ness” with our genital masculinity is much manifest in our “at-home-ness” with our whole selves. Chastity that is fulfilled in celibacy is, indeed, “gift” — that is, it is not forced, but is received. Discerning the gift involves noticing and learning a whole life that has dignity, poise, and vigor. Growing into and maturing in celibate chastity brings human fulfillment for those whom God calls and gifts.

Making the oblation
Growth in celibate chastity involves struggle. And keeping on growing is a struggle. Taking-on and persevering in a stable life of celibate chastity requires motive and renewal of motive. For me, the motive is strongest when it is relational (e.g., Sac cael 54, 59, 70).6 For me, celibate chastity is a “holy exchange of gifts”7 that God asks of me and that he enables. For me, to be celibate is not to be lonely, but to be intimate — with Our Lord and, through that intimacy, as a man with a capacity for love, to give myself to the Church and the world as ministerial priest of Christ the High Priest (cf., Pas dob vob 12). It is priestly relationship with Christ that picks me up and sees me through struggles and loneliness, that sustains the self-denial and that — even in tribulation — brings fulfillment.

Living penance

We live in a highly sexualized society. An ease in growing-up is difficult in contemporary Australia (USA, etc.). Even children going to school who have barely entered pubescence may be dressed in sexually provocative ways that display a lack of serenity and innocence, even at tender ages. There are many young people — and not so young people — who need our good example of sexual abstinence. Even more, there are many who need the prayers that should support and flow from our own penitence — we priests need to make hidden offerings that God may use for the welfare of his People in a sex-crazed world. Our lives should be lives of penance.

Gaining possession of the gift

Each year across 20 years as a tertiary educator, I have found a few of my male students dropping-in without an academic agenda, “Just for a chat.” I am now more aware how important it is for young men just to have contact with, to observe, and to engage socially with older men whom they respect as men. A great deal about holistic male sexuality is communicated implicitly. I sometimes convey this implicit significance by using, as my parting comment, with young men, “Be good” — a comment that, even in secular environments, is usually received and understood. I think that the first time that I ever publicly spoke of my virginity was in a Catholic graduate theology class led by a married lay lecturer. A fellow student afterwards told me he was “blown out of the water.” This sexually active unmarried student had assumed that entry into celibacy was a choice following sexual experience. Young people today need implicit and explicit assurance that entry into sexual maturity is not predicated upon “experience.” I occasionally say to my penitents, “You don’t need ‘experience’ to grow-up sexually; what you most need is to receive your sexuality as God-given.”

Being “down to earth” 

In the incarnational world of the Church, theological interpretation is not a substitute for “down-to-earth-ness.” Young men are confronted, often with urgency, with the fact-ness of their emerging sexuality. Just as young men may seek an adult male who implicitly helps them to define their masculinity, even simply by being a man whom they can observe and emulate — so also this seeking may extend to issues more explicitly sexual (even where, as often is the case, the first approach is by allusion). Young men often need to be reassured that they are “okay” in their awakening interest in things sexual, in the simple physicality of their sexuality as encountered with surprise (e.g., penile erection in such sexually non-stimulating environments as a latin class), in surprise at the content of dreams involving seminal discharge, etc. A priest’s theological and spiritual development needs an integration with human development so that the matter-of-fact-ness of human sexuality fits with and is supported by and leads into the astonishing theological interpretation of human sexuality that the Church espouses.

Healthy culture of the body

This involves building a “healthy culture of the body” (Human Sexuality 106). Much in the ascetical tradition of the Church does not promote a healthy culture of the body, and there is little or no amplification of this in such key phrases as “wholesome pursuits” (Personae humanae 12) in the more recent and contemporary magisterial Tradition. Physical endowments vary greatly and often our ideals of “health” reflect what we don’t have (e.g., bulk for the lean man, leanness for the bulky man). A “good body image” can be code language for narcissism, and a “poor body image” can sometimes just be a lack of interest (like the man who has never cultivated tidiness or the man who has never cultivated musical sensibilities). These diversities recognized, a lifestyle that promotes bodily health and vigor and builds a good body image supports the development of celibate chastity. This observation is witnessed by noticing that poor physique and poor body image are prevalent among persons with marked sexual disorders. Discipline of, care for, and right enjoyment of the body helps the integration of the person and the positive development of chaste celibacy. Attention to a “healthy culture of the body” not only assists our cultivation of celibate chastity, but also promotes chaste celibacy among those who notice vigor and health suited to natural endowment, and offers to young men who may be called to the sacred ministry examples of living that worthily may be emulated. Bodily health and manliness will not substitute for spiritual and religious discipline, but in a right incarnational theology a “healthy culture of the body” is generally integral to a wholesome Christian life.

Safeguards in life and ministry 

The first safeguard in life and ministry for a priest — as for any Christian — is his intimacy with Our Lord and lived fidelity to the teaching of his Church. A first emphasis on “protocol” behavior may weaken truly Christ-like ministry. The hallmarks of Christ-like ministry are vulnerability and authority that is matched by prudence, justice, fortitude, temperance (CCC 1806ff). In dealing with any young man, I endeavor where possible to relate with his family — whose parental dignity as “first teachers” (e.g., Grav ed 6) is not relinquished when a young man reaches 18 or 21 years of age. Sadly, however, family respect and trust has at times been used as a cover for sexual abuse. Where a priest enters intimate relations (I here mainly address relations that nurture young men in celibate chastity or that support priests in celibate chastity), the surest safeguard is another priest as regular confessor.8 In country areas, this may be more difficult to implement than in city areas, but encouraging ordinary access to another priest for the sacrament of Penance provides a sure practical and theological safeguard for relational intimacy involving a priest.

Human maturity and celibate chastity

Preparing for celibate chastity and maintaining chaste celibacy necessarily involves preparing for and sustaining a renunciation of genital sexual fulfillment. This involves prudently and carefully addressing “the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure” (that is, masturbation as defined in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, para. 2352).9 This is a difficult topic. Personae humanae makes the recognition, “modern psychology has much that is valid and useful to offer on the subject of masturbation” (Pers hum 9).10 Yet much modern psychology, sociology, and medical science treats observed fallen human behavior, not human behavior according to the creating purposes of God. As Personae humanae also observes, survey data of human behavior do not in themselves provide criteria for determining truth (Pers hum 9, note 21) and “. . . facts do not furnish a rule for judging the morality of human acts” (Pers hum 9). A brief survey of recent studies on human sexuality shows material that is valid and useful for human sexual maturation, but also shows material that could provide script of the X-rated video kind.11 Key relevant considerations include (cf., CCC 2352).12

• personal and sexual maturity (“affective maturity”)13
• acquired habit
• anxiety and other psychological factors
• social factors
• physiological considerations.

The urgency of physical impulse may, especially in young men, more influence genital stimulation than the deriving of “sexual pleasure” (CCC 2352). The social experience and circumstances of some men may predispose to genital self-stimulation (e.g., youth group exposure to such activity, exposure to media depiction and promotion of sexual self-gratification, sexual problems within marriage and enforced sexual abstinence, etc.). Life stresses that lead to abuse of alcohol or stress-reducing medication may also lead to recourse to self-directed eroticism.

I often gather-up these diverse considerations under the heading of “compensatory activity”14 that may reveal

• deficient personal and sexual identity (assuring oneself of the “okay-ness” of one’s masculinity)
• physical urge (physical discomfort or uninvited arousal)
• anxiety and discouragement (orgasm as a means of release of “uptightness”)
• self-pleasure (disordered desire for sexual pleasure).

Exploring these overlapping dimensions generally assists in application of the “law of gradualness” or step-by-step advance. Such step-by-step advance should not be confused with “gradualness of the law” (cf., Fam cons 34, Vademecum for Confessors, para. 9, note 43), and should uphold the primacy of the objective moral order and the dignity of human nature as created and re-created by God (cf., Pers hum 3, 13).15

This step-by-step advance should be supported by the means proposed for living a chaste life (cf., Pers hum 12ff.)

• discipline of the senses and of the mind
• vigilance and prudence in avoiding occasions of sin
• modesty
• moderation in amusements
• wholesome pursuits
• cultivating the virtue of love that is true, magnanimous, unselfish, and respectful of others
• constant prayer
• frequent recourse to the sacraments of Penance and the Eucharist
• cultivating the means of mental, affective, and moral maturity.

Modesty

There is a subtlety in modesty. Just as in one man, a certain informality seems affected and in another unaffected — so in one man, a manner of dressing would seem fitting while in another not. In matters of dress and in matters of mind, the virtue of modesty is shown in what is exposed or examined, and what is covered or averted. Cultivation of the virtue of modesty gives poise of body and mind and gathers these for the practice of celibate chastity that is both external and internal. Modesty is both robust and subtle — and people generally pick the difference between a manly prudence in dress and manners and a timorousness that simply covers-up or leaves unexamined. Modesty in everyday dress for the ordained becomes more straightforward where there is observance of the 1985 norm of the Australian Conference of Catholic Bishops — “clerics are to dress in such a way that they are identifiable as clerics . . .” (cf., CIC 284).16 

Dealing with indecency 

St. Paul’s counsel, “. . . indecency of any kind . . . must not be as much as mentioned among you . . .” (Eph. 5:3-8, 4:18f, cf. Pers hum 11) should set the tone of our general conversation. In man-to-man talk about sexual difficulties, “precious” language is rarely helpful. Some prudent use of “indecorous” language will usually be helpful in cutting through inhibition and getting to the “how it actually is.” A good test as to whether such language is justly used is whether it becomes less necessary, as difficulties are addressed and progress in holiness is observed.

Priests and young men entering a stable life of celibate chastity need expressly to be prepared to deal with “indecencies,” even of every kind, and unmentionable. The principles of education in human sexuality apply also in dealing with sexual indecency, “Only information proportionate to each phase of individual development should be presented . . .” (Human Sexuality 124). In one-to-one dealing with sexual indecency, I find it best to use simple and graphic language (rather than overly “delicate” or “clinical” language).17 This usually cuts through inhibition and gets to the factuality of the behavior. Stripped of the kind of glossiness that pornography gives to indecency and the lack of rawness that clinical treatment gives, disordered and abusive sexual behavior becomes more recognized and named in its actuality. The objectivity of disorder and the objectivity of order in human sexuality are thereby more clearly portrayed. Our chaste celibacy (particularly in maturity, but also in the innocence of youth) empowers us to assist those touched by sexual disorder, including sexual disorder of the gravest kind.

Just as some smokers and drug addicts “cold turkey” (i.e., withdraw unassisted in a short time frame), so will some ingrained in sexual indecency quit abruptly. For most, however, the maxim of the “law of gradualness” will apply (Vademecum 9). Our celibate chastity is a source of strength to those whom we assist as they progressively gain poise and self-possession. Our own prayers and penances are a great help to those whom we assist, as they draw strength from our own self-denial, and begin to see the splendor of human sexuality that is human fulfillment rather than human gratification.

Joy in celibacy

The hallmark of an authentic Christian celibate chastity is joyfulness. It was for the joy that was set before him that Our Lord endured the Cross (Heb. 12:2), and it is our joy in intimacy with Christ and his People that sustains us in our celibate dedication to the ministry of Christ and his Church. This joy is no easy joy. Even after some decades, I still struggle to live in chaste celibacy. I sustain my struggle, not simply because of some external discipline of Church order,18 but because I believe it is the state of life to which I am called as a ministerial priest of Christ. Celibate chastity is integral to my vocation and life with Christ (cf., Pas dab vob 29). It is my struggle — more than my achievement — that bears fruit in my ministry and in my own life. This is because a priest does not choose celibacy as an end in itself. We choose celibacy because it is integral to our vocational intimacy with Christ and his Church. Christ is our life, and life in Christ is a life of joy.

References

Catechism of the Catholic Church 1994 — cited as CCC.

Code of Canon Law (Codex Iuris Canonici) 1983 — cited as CIC.

Educational Guidance in Human Love: outlines for sex education 1983, Congregation for

Catholic Education — cited as Ed Hum Love.

Familiaris consortio 1981, Apostolic Exhortation of PP John Paul II — cited as Fam cons.

General Directory for Catechesis 1997, Congregation for the Clergy — cited as Gen Dir Cat.

Guide to Formation in Priestly Celibacy 1974, Congregation for Catholic Education — cited as Form Pries Cel.

Gravissimum educationis 1965, Declaration of the Second Vatican Council on Christian education — cited as Grav ed.

Hite, S 1981 The Hite Report on Male Sexuality (New York: Knopf) — cited as Male Sexuality.

Humanae vitae 1968, Encyclical letter of PP Paul VI — cited as Hum vit.

Integrity in Ministry: a draft document of ethical standards for Catholic clergy and religious in Australia 1997, Australian Catholic Bishops’ Conference and Leaders of Religious Institutes.

Integrity in Ministry: a document of ethical standards for Catholic clergy and religious in Australia 1999, National Committee for Professional Standards of the Australian Catholic Bishops’ Conference and Australian Conference of Leaders of Religious Institutes.

John Paul II 1997, The Theology of the Body: Human Love In The Divine Plan (Boston: Pauline Books) — cited as Theol Body.

McGavin, P A 2000, Being a “father,” The Priest (Journal of the Australian Confraternity of Catholic Clergy), November: 5f.

Novo incipiente nostro 1979, Letter to priests of PP John Paul II.

Optatam totius 1965, Vatican II Decree on the Training of Priests — cited as Opt tot.

Personae humanae 1975, Declaration on certain problems of sexual ethics, Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith — cited as Pers hum.

Pastores dabo vobis 1992, Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation of John Paul II on the Formation of Priests in the Circumstances of the Present Day — cited as Pas dob vob.

Presbyterorum ordinis 1965, Vatican II Decree on the Ministry and Life of Priests — cited as Presb ord.

Reconciliatio et Paenitentia 1985, Apostolic Exhortation of PP John Paul II — cited as Rec paen.

Sacerdotalis caelibatus 1967, Encyclical letter of PP Paul VI — cited as Sac cael.

Sipe, A. W. R. 1995, Sex, Priests, and Power: Anatomy of a Crisis (New York: Brunner/Mazel).

Stickler, Cardinal A. M. 1993, The Case for Clerical Celibacy: Its Historical Development and Theological Foundations (San Francisco: Ignatius) — cited as Clerical Celibacy.

The Book “Human Sexuality” 1979, Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith — cited as BHS.

The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality: Guidelines for Education Within the Family 1996, Pontifical Council for the Family — cited as Human Sexuality.

Ultimis temporibus 1967, Synod of Bishops — cited as Ult temp.

Vademecum for Confessors Concerning Some Aspects of the Morality of Conjugal Life 1997, Pontifical Council for the Family.

Veritatis splendor 1993, Encyclical letter of John Paul II on certain fundamental questions of the Church’s moral teaching — cited as Ver splen.

End Notes

1. This is expressed in Ed Hum Love 41 in terms of personal formation as a permanent process, and in Form Pries Cel as long growth process, and not all atonce, 46,48,67.
   
2. Cf., McGavin 2000.
   
3. The final document, Integrity in Ministry: A Document of Principles and Standards for Catholic Clergy and Religious in Australia 1999, more balances theological and pastoral principles with protocol than the 1997 draft version.
   
4. The 1974 Guide to Formation in Priestly Celibacy 2 likewise considers the topic “. . . mainly from the natural aspect in accordance with the principles of education,” and stresses human maturation (e.g., 18f).
   
5. This personalist perspective is found in Ed Hum Love 16,35, and throughout the teaching of PP John Paul II (e.g., Theol Body 262-303).
   
6. Cardinal Stickler’s Clerical Celibacy — in arguing the constancy of Church discipline — documents the way that continence was linked with ritual purity. He presses the need for more theological work (p.83), and his own theological — as distinct from historical — case seems to emphasize the relational and personalist considerations (e.g., pp.50ff., 84ff.). Form Pries Cel promotes a relational view rather than a ritual purity view (13, 29).
   
7. Cf., Prayer over the Gifts for the Twentieth Ordinary Sunday, Roman Missal.
   
8. CIC 1378.1 — that prohibits absolution of an accomplice in a sin of impurity — provides a backdrop safeguard for any degeneration of intimate relations in ways not consistent with celibate chastity.
   
9. Persona humana, cf., 9, particularly links masturbation to adolescence (that behaviorally may persist after that age) and this adolescent perspective is briefly amplified in Human Sexuality, 103, in terms of a selfish vision of sexuality, linking this at section 106 with adolescent difficulties in acceptance of the self and the body, and problems of self-identity — and urges the cultivation of a healthy culture of the body as part of Christian formation. Autoeroticism is treated succinctly in Ed Hum Love 98ff. with the conclusion that formation should be directed more to the causes than to direct repression (cf., Form Pries Cel 36, Pers hum 9).
   
10. Whatever their accuracy, the data presented in Sipe (1995:68-70) make clear that “facts” do not furnish a rule.
    
11. E.g., Hite, Male Sexuality.
    
12. In this article “cf.” is used where the source citation is not reproduced verbatim. In the instance that follows CCC 2352 does not include “physiological considerations,” though I observe that these appropriately fall under the CCC 2352 list of considerations. Physiological considerations are mentioned in Sac cael 63. They also occur in the list in Ed Hum Love 11. Form Prie Cel 5, 19 speaks of the “bio-psycho-social-cultural personality of the person. . . .”
    
13. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states this in the negative (i.e., “affective immaturity,” para. 2352, cf., Form Pries Cel 36,63).
    
14. The language of “compensation” is used in Form Pries Cel 15, 26 in speaking of frustrated affective needs.
    
15. A parallel may be drawn between this step-by-step approach and the identification by the Council of Trent of “attrition” (cf., “contrition”) as preparing a way to obtaining the grace of the Sacrament of Penance that perfects attrition and leads to a conversion of love (Trent, Session XIV, Penance ch 4; cf., Rec paen 31,III,n.185). This gradualism may also be proposed in catechetical terms as integral catechesis that is extensive in its integrity, adapted to the capacity of those to whom it is directed, and leading progressively to complete embracing of Catholic teaching and practice (cf., Gen Dir Cat 112f).
    
16. The relevant statement may be found in The Australasian Catholic Record 92(4):427f) (cf., Congregation for the Clergy 1994, Directory on the Ministry and Life of Priests, p.71).
    
17. Although by word association, this seems contrary to Human Sexuality 126 and Fam cons 37, these documents are guarding against degradation and obscenity and preserving and promoting chastity — precisely the object here. My words should not be read in the context of formal education, where delicacy is a watchword (cf. Ed Hum Love, passim).
    
18. Cf., Ult temp 4c, Opt tot 10, Form Pries Cel 16.