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One reason that funeral preaching can lapse into eulogizing
is the fear that the homily
will sound too formal, too general, or not personal enough.
Homily or eulogy:
Preaching a funeral
By Thomas J. Scirghi
In the anxious anticipation of my ordination, worrying to make everything “perfect” in order to insure a good celebration, an older, and much wiser priest, somewhat annoyed at my obsession, commented: “Remember, Tom, you’re the occasion for the party, not the attraction.” His blunt remark helped me to find the focus of the celebration: the action of God within the worshiping community.
Roman Catholic sacramental ritual centers around a person or persons, as we initiate them into the Christian community, reconcile them with God and with the community, or join them in matrimony. In each case we celebrate God’s action for the community through that person. Clearly the person, around whom the sacrament is centered, is not the attraction, i.e., we do not hold the individual up as a hero, extolling his or her virtues and accomplishments. Rather, the person is the occasion for the celebration, i.e., an instantiation of God’s wonderful and manifold presence in our lives. God is creating something new here. Grace abounds and our worship celebrates God’s presence with us. It is not so much that we have achieved a reward, but that God has called us to this good life and gratefully we have responded. In the words of the apostle, “If anyone wants to boast let him boast of the Lord” (2 Cor. 10:17).
The meaning of a sacramental celebration is distorted when we shift the focus from God to the individual. We see this, for instance, when a parish First Holy Communion liturgy degenerates into a rite of passage rather than the praise of Jesus Christ who has become our bread. We hear it at a wedding when a couple has been carried away with planning the perfect wedding ceremony, crafting it as an exercise of self-expression rather than the grateful praise of God’s eternal and unconditional covenant with humanity. Also, nowhere is this confusion more glaring than when the funeral homily is replaced by a eulogy.
In this essay I would like to address the problem of confusing the homily with the eulogy, and the need to distinguish them. It is after hearing yet another funeral homily that I find myself obliged to respond. This particular funeral oration seems representative of those I have heard recently. Clearly the preacher held the deceased in high esteem; he learned much from him both professionally and personally. He enjoyed his company, having shared many a meal and chaired many parish meetings together. In short, the preacher made it clear that the deceased was a good guy. What was not so clearly presented, however, was the Christian theme of eternal life and our hope in the resurrection.
This is a problem—a fundamental flaw —with many funeral homilies. Consider the instruction given the preacher in the General Introduction to the Order of Christian Funerals.
A brief homily based on the readings is always given after the gospel reading at the funeral liturgy . . . but there is never to be a eulogy. Attentive to the grief of those present, the homilist should dwell on God’s compassionate love and on the paschal mystery of the Lord, as proclaimed in the Scripture readings. The homilist should also help the members of the assembly to understand that the mystery of God’s love and the mystery of Jesus’ victorious death and resurrection were present in the life and death of the deceased and that these mysteries are active in their own lives as well. Through the homily members of the family and community should receive consolation and strength to face the death of one of their members with a hope nourished by the saving word of God (no. 27).
The preacher serves to strengthen and console the congregation with hope from the saving word of God. To help follow this instruction, I offer several points to consider for funeral preaching. The first concerns the celebration of the liturgy in general. The next four concern funeral preaching specifically.
First of all, one reason that funeral preaching can lapse into eulogizing is the fear that the homily will sound too formal, too general, or not personal enough. In this case the eulogy is an attempt to make the liturgy more relevant for the occasion. It needs to be noted that this is the problem with the perception of our liturgy in general; this is to say that there is a general distrust of the liturgy to communicate passion, warmth and meaning. Because many celebrants and liturgical planners think of the liturgy as all too dry and lifeless there is a tendency to add words and actions to the prescribed rite in order to help make our prayer more relevant for the assembly. It is for this same reason that some celebrants adopt the persona of a talk-show host, adding to the prayers their personal greetings, such as the addition of “good morning” to the entrance rite. (In one parish, after the congregation’s response, “And also with you,” the celebrant responds even further, saying “Thank you.”) Some feel the need to open with a joke, confusing their role with that of a stand-up comedian. All of this serves to foster a cult of personality, focusing on the priest as “host” rather than as the leader of prayer. When the liturgy is performed well—when the hymns are joyfully sung, when the prayers are prayed and not merely recited, when the moments of silence are observed—then the proper passion, warmth and meaning will be communicated.
Second, the preacher needs to heed the instruction, “[the homily] is never to be a eulogy.” The preacher needs to consider what it is that he is calling the people of God to celebrate today: either the promise of eternal life with Jesus Christ, or the past life of the deceased. Is the focus of the homily on the Lord or is it on the deceased? Some funeral homilies provide a lengthy and detailed account of the person’s accomplishments and attributes, along with some peccadilloes thrown in for good humor. In this case the homily tends to sound more like a secular testimonial speech for a good citizen rather than a message of faith.
This problem raises a question for our preaching in general: if someone were to arrive late to Mass, just in time to hear the sermon, could he or she tell that this was a Roman Catholic liturgy? This is to ask, does the homily simply resemble a thoroughly planned, instructive, even entertaining humanist tract? Or does it attempt to touch the transcendent, to reveal the presence of God in our midst? Indeed, did the preacher refer to the Scripture of the day at all? Was the name of Jesus mentioned? Discussing the funeral homily specifically, we could ask: what makes this Christian funeral rite different from a secular memorial service? Are we celebrating the passage of our friend from temporal to eternal life, or are we merely marking the end of his life?
This leads us to consider the third point: to focus on the Lord’s promise of eternal life does not mean that we should neglect to say anything about the deceased. On the contrary, we use the occasion to show how yet another disciple of Christ has witnessed to the teaching and deeds of Jesus. Of course, this can be difficult for the parish priest who often does not know the deceased. This is especially true in large parishes or if the deceased did not take an active role in the life of the parish. In some cases, depending on the character of the deceased, it may be difficult to find an accolade for the occasion. Nevertheless, the preacher must look through the lens of Jesus’ life, rather than through the lens of human achievement, to reveal the activity of Christ through this one life and through the community.
Fourth, according to Jesus Christ, the Kingdom of Heaven is a banquet. All too often the eschatological banquet is replaced with an eighteen hole green or a mother’s kitchen. Understanding the desire for levity here, the preacher should not give short shrift to the promise of Christ. The Eucharist is a foretaste of the Kingdom of Heaven. The one who feeds us with his Body and Blood will continue to nourish us when we are fully united with him after death. There are numerous accounts of this banquet. We read of rich descriptions throughout the Scripture of the cornucopia that has been prepared for us, as well as of the host who must give his life to prepare a place for us at the table. The heavenly banquet is beautiful and bountiful and the host calls all those who are hungry to feast. However, there is no sense in coming to the banquet table if we are already full. The preacher helps to point out those areas of our lives in which we hunger for fulfillment. The experience of spiritual hunger will dispose us to answer the Lord’s invitation.
Here is one more reversal offered by Christ the King. We are used to associating the truly hungry with the simple fare of a soup kitchen. Jesus and the prophets promise a lavish banquet with enough food to feed the guests till they are full, with plenty of leftovers (Matt. 14:13-21; Isa. 25:6-12; Amos 9:13-15). Jesus asks for a morsel of faith from us with which he will prepare a feast. And so we come to the funeral with our morsel of faith in the resurrection and everlasting life, against all our rational and scientific knowledge which clearly shows us that life ends here and that the body decays in the grave—we come hungry for eternal life with faith in the promise of Christ.
Fifth, to address this belief adequately, we need to face death directly and to avoid euphemisms. Death is the passageway to our place at the table of the Lord. The way we deal with death may reveal something of our own faith. Here it is important to remember that human speech is revelatory. Whether or not we intend to talk about ourselves in the first person, the content of our message and the way in which it is expressed, says something about us. Preaching reveals the faith of the preacher. How much do we fear death? Are we uncomfortable talking about death in public? The preacher can find himself in the position of Jesus, weeping just before he revived his friend Lazarus (John 11:35). A temptation for the preacher is to look for a more palpable story of the situation rather than to confront death. Some preachers choose to wax ethereal, spiritualizing the problem of death as if the congregation consisted of angels, unburdened by the emotional weight of grief and loss.
The preacher must balance the threat of death with the promise of eternal life. This promise may sound terribly abstract to those with a scientific mind set; or it may feel like a weak salve for a family that has borne the suffering of a loved one for a long time. Preparing or participating in a funeral liturgy may cause us to question our faith in these matters. However, the preacher is ordained to speak a word in the threatening silence of death; to shine a light in the darkness of the eternal abyss; to offer a sign of faith in the midst of fear. The preacher needs to be aware of his own emotions in addressing a congregation on this occasion. He may find himself choked up with grief over the loss of a family member or a friend. He may sense some relief, as in the case when a patient’s long suffering has ended. He may know joy, delighting in fond memories of the deceased. He may experience encouragement, having been inspired by the deceased at some point in his life. In general, sometimes the occasion can make him mindful of the mortality of his parents or others close to him.
Confronted by the fear of death and comforted by the promise of eternal life, the preacher is called to speak a word from the Lord. The preacher must stand between sympathy and hope. He must stand with Christ who did not fear to plumb the depths of despair in order to raise humanity to a pinnacle of hope. The funeral homily does not talk of this one deceased person but of all of us gathered for this liturgy. The preacher speaks to the faithful hungry for everlasting life. We gather here not only out of love and respect for the deceased, but to remember that we too “will return to dust” and from this dust God will fashion a new creation. The faithful request, show us the hope of Christ.
Reverend Thomas J. Scirghi, S.J., is an assistant professor of sacramental theology at Fordham University in New York City. He is also an instructor of homiletics, having taught at the Weston Jesuit School of Theology in Cambridge, Mass., and at the Institute for Pastoral Studies of Loyola University in Chicago. He is the author of the forthcoming book, Baptism and the Triune Name of God. Fr. Scirghi is a member of the New York Province of the Society of Jesus.
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