For so much of my life feminists have been the enemy that I therefore have some intractable difficulties with the term "authentic feminism." I don’t blame those (among them two of my heroes, the Holy Father and Helen Alvare) who wish to reclaim the term feminism and what they take to be its core meaning of a recognition of the equality of men and women. As a woman who sometimes tires of the condescension of some males in the workplace (and is grateful for the gallantry of others), I realize that full recognition of women’s equal dignity has not yet arrived. Male desire to dominate women is a result of the Fall and will certainly never be eradicated in this vale of tears.

Yet, I think the greater danger facing us is a failure to recognize the differences between men and women, to the detriment of the happiness of both males and females.

I have always been puzzled that so many for so long have insisted that men and women are different "only" physiologically (as though that were some small difference!). The fact that we allow women to join combat units in the armed services show that we are still in the grip of this pernicious and foolish ideology — and in a realm where physical differences surely do matter. A vivid gradate school memory comes to mind: Hurrying to find a warm, cozy place to escape the depressing damp and cold of a miserable, gray, late fall day in Toronto, I looked up to see a soggy field full of males playing tag football. I shook my head in amazement; I could not imagine the possibility of anyone tossing a strange oblong ball, walking through a lounge full of females, and getting many — if any — takers for the opportunity to bruise and be bruised while getting covered in mud. (It happens, but usually only among drunk coeds who are suffering an identity crisis.) I had an epiphany that confirmed my suspicions: males are an alien breed and females should be grateful for any common ground one discovers with them.

So what does this have to do with our lady saints? Well, Teresa of Avila is known for her remark to God, upon having her carriage dumped in the mud: "If this is how you treat your friends, no wonder you have so few of them." And the Little Flower with her characteristic humility and abandonment to God, likened herself to a ball being tossed around by the Christ Child. But these themes are not what I have in mind. More prosaically, I have in mind Saint Teresa Benedicta, nee Edith Stein, who writes several marvelously provocative essays on the differences between men and women. Those seeking holiness will look to her life for edification and those desiring philosophical illumination from a phenomenological Thomist will find inestimable treasures in her writing. Those attempting to relate to members of the opposite sex and/or raising children would be well-advised to scour her work on the differences between males and females for insight.

Edith Stein, an accomplished scholar and original philosopher, realized that parenthood is the vocation of each and every human being, whether that parenthood be physical or spiritual. Written into the very nature of our beings is an ordination to bringing forth and bringing up the next generation. It greatly saddens me that in our day and age, so many men and women evince no knowledge of the joys of parenting until they become parents. Why should it be that so many postpone childbearing until their thirties and then suddenly discovery there are few things more satisfying and meaningful than loving and raising children? Is it because so many people come from small families, that so few have experience with babies and with much younger brothers and sisters?

I think it is very important for young teenagers to learn how to care for infants and children; they take to it naturally since it is a natural step in graduating to young adulthood. There is nothing like the captivating, loving smiles of little ones to fill one’s hear with baby "lust" (I want one of those!) and nothing like their vulnerability and neediness to recommend marriage as the proper context for making babies (make me a parent, but not yet!). I recommend strongly that those in the midteen years become camp counselors or playground superintendents. Becoming the authority figure responsible for enforcing order can considerably improve one’s own behavior. At any rate, parents should be aware that the most important role they prepare their sons for is being a husband and father and the most important role they prepare their daughters for is being a wife and mother — for the happiness of most resides in the successful fulfillment of those roles.

Edith Stein’s analysis of male/female differences both recognizes the distinctive strength of each sex and the characteristic flaws resulting from the Fall. Of males, she says, "Male essential desires reveal themselves in action, work, and objective achievements. He is less concerned with problems of being whether his own or of others." She observes that men have a tendency to "one-sided" commitment to their careers. She states that women with their desire for a harmonious interconnection all the parts of life can help men learn to devote themselves not only to their profession but to their family.

Of females she says, "The deepest feminine yearning is to achieve a loving union which, in its development, validates this maturation and simultaneously stimulates and furthers the desire for perfection in others." She states that "The emotions, the essential organ for comprehension of the existent in its totality and in its peculiarity, occupy the center of [feminine] being." Female tendency to "one-sidedness" is not to focus on a career to the detriment of other responsibilities but is to give too much weight to her own feelings over objective considerations. Edith Stein states that "a good natural remedy for all typical feminine defects is solid objective work. This demands in itself the repression of an excessively personal attitude." She maintains that males are particularly suited to assist women in developing this greater appreciation for objectivity.

Edith Stein’s writings would appall feminists for her insistence on the fundamental differences in males and females and in her insistence that females find their fulfillment in serving others and males in leading others. They would be surprised that she advocates that males on occasion exercise leadership best by allowing women to take over when they are more capable. She maintains that all professions should be open to women but believes that women will perform their professional duties in a distinctively feminine way.

Recently at a conference in St. Louis on the thought of John Paul II, Helen Alvare and I sat on a panel with Carl Bernstein. Bernstein’s biography of the Pope presents him as visionary leader in respect to human rights but a retrograde in respect to his views on women. Reportedly Bernstein was stunned when Helen and I praised the Holy Father’s teachings on sexuality, the family, and women and cited them as being advantageous for women. I suspect that one of the reasons that John Paul II was so eager to raise Edith Stein to the altar is that he has learned a great deal from this fellow phenomenological philosopher. Phenomenologists pride themselves in going back to the "things in themselves," in being molded by experience rather than theory. The writings of Edith Stein and the Holy Father seem tremendously faithful to human experience. It will be a welcome day when feminist ideologues abandon their erroneous theories about men and women, and come to see the profound wisdom in the thought of such thinkers as Edith Stein and Pope John Paul II.

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