sertraline 50 mg side effects prednisone cost for dogs can taking cipro cause yellow urine citrato de sildenafila bula anvisa periactin au levoxyl synthroid vs relief from cymbalta withdrawals terbinafine dose tinea cruris cymbalta 30 mg harm liver cv system albuterol is taking ambien with gabapentin suggested acyclovir dosage renal misoprostol se vende en farmacias flomax generic dose paroxetine gaba prednisone dosage treatment gout clomid vs hcg pct viagra and doxazosin interaction metoprolol beta 95 cymbalta natural replacement etizolam and propranolol hydrochloride como administrar metoprolol t linezolid 300mg price what do dentist do if on propranolol amoxicillin and breastfeeding toothache spironolactone breath odor septra iv dose 80 allegra cunningham provigil paxil clomid risks and benefits wellbutrin er keflex gastritis clarithromycin compared to azithromycin ingreditents diovan and weight loss bactrim sunlight mayo clinic ok to take plavix with protonix 50 milligram viagra vs 100 milligrams can i put a phenergan in my butt lipitor cipla compra de misoprostol en el df gabapentin and long qt 4 azithromycin 1000 mg for chlamydia is inderal fc tablets used for lamisil continuous spray for sale how to dose 50lb canine 10mg prednisone skin does taking mobic make you gain weight wasim akram in aap ki adalat augmentin treat stds doxycycline uti coverage buy mobic online australia can you legally purchase zithromax online from canada dosage amoxilline contre infection urinaire antibiotics cipro std albuterol 90 mcg inhaler price when is it time to stop taking lexapro cabergoline in pakistan aciclovir edigen comprimidos is lamisil pills used for scalp wellbutrin and grinding teeth can you take ivermectin while pregnant is paxil available over the counter 20 mg prednisone directions for use is viagra safe to use the cost of zithromax at rite aid what are some replacements for buspar does azithromycin contain maoi clopidogrel75mg advantages para que es este medicamento moduretic msd quetiapine expiration date benicar informacion en espanol where can u buy thyroxine in n.z gabapentin and stomach gas lotrimin vs terbinafine paroxetine arret brutal dose for zoloft wikedia do clomid tabs cause yeast infection is 5 mg lexapro therapeutic scuola via cipro assemini tetracycline teeth whitening uk dosage for singulair 10mg can u give dogs ondansetron can maxalt addictive mirtazapine price uk viagra cialis forum srbija mometasone furoate and terbinafine wellbutrin rash treatment nitroglycerin controlled release tablets manufacturer amoxicillin allopurinol antidote for acyclovir toxicity amoxicillin for sinus infection metronidazole for cats with sneezing abilify e disturbo ossessivo does seroquel work immediately notizie nave costa allegra what is the cost of propecia rite aid glucophage in type 1 diabetics with pcos tetracycline powder dosage for cats buy chloramphenicol for eyes cialis daily vs as needed teaching instructions for buspirone valor do remedio aciclovir side effects of propecia finasteride does flagyl make your urine dark how to stop weight gain from celexa fexofenadine 180 mg otc viagra einzeln kaufen quetiapine and cannabis nolvadex prime lab propecia buy online cheap get rid lexapro side effects side effects of missing dose of celexa how much an estrace cream cost in canada buy azithromycin 500mg japan topiramate canada kamagra eastern cape development estrogen premarin transition neurontin efeitos colaterais flomax pullunder does lisinopril cause loss of appetite hydrochlorothiazide 50 mg can kill proventil eciwlcodkedefe online can neurontin cause erectile dysfunction guna dexamethasone 0.75mg tablets caffeine and paxil xenical how much ph zoloft fuzzy head maxalt price list vs naratriptan metformin alone price in india viagra som doping cefixime linezolid combination brands prednisone to iv conversion seroquel make you tired cheap clomid tablets uk xenical anti obesity drugs in india cipla strep throat not responding amoxicillin is seroquel a scheduled drug role of levofloxacin in typhoid fever cost of finasteride us gabapentin changed my life viagra sfd compra de viagra o cialis adderall and 2.5 mgs of zyprexa side effects from taking terbinafine phenergan and penicillin amiodarone hcl 100mg bactrim at walmart amoxicillin clavulanate efficacy depot preparation of aripiprazole gebruik van zyprexa ambien levitra prodajna mesta kamagra topamax causing anger levaquin 500 mg tablet size meloxicam aprobado por fda como anticonceptivo alkohol und baclofen forum drugs like buspirone viagra 4 sale claritin vs allegra which is better levothyroxine chewable dogs does lexapro work well for anxiety levothyroxine and surgery erboristeria viagra femminile duration of taking erythromycin buy lasix baownbeuv high dosage valtrex actos mg tamoxifen schmerzen in der brust prednisone feeling warm proscar directoons molecular formula ciprofloxacin doxycycline treat stye taking flagyl without eating levaquin and cellulitis gabapentin tramadol high over the counter ketoconazole shampoo south africa invrease potency cialis cymbalta side effects sun exposure allegra hatoanyaga elavil bus allegra como nombre xenical 84 caps cost in india femara howdotofound reviews diabetic medications glucophage is allegra good for congestion premarin cream dosing do holland and barret sell viagra buy viagra spray online buspar and prozac combination is tamoxifen safe to use with clenbuterol hong kong viagra what does ciprofloxacin treat for birds pharmacies that deliver viagra to missouri amoxicillin with orange juice how long does diflucan stay active in the body terbinafine creme prijs nortriptyline bij angst can you drink alcohol while on lisinopril prednisone testosterone levels can zoloft make you more emotional can flagyl give yeast infection fluconazole 200 mg over the counter thyroxine sodium hair loss metformin alcohol warning do you need a prescription for viagra in vietnam red bull 100 viagra sildenafil citrate and ephedrine hydrochloride amlodipine 10 mg generic price in uk dizzy while on clomid nizoral shampoo price can you use doxycycline hyclate for uti 50 mg prednisone pregnant vibramycin coverage wm of doxycycline can amoxicillin treat sinus interaction between celexa and metoprolol singulair and common cold tablet topiramate for treating migraine paxil multidistrict litigation 88 keys stay up viagra ketovid ketoconazole tablet price bringing viagra through costums lopressor 20 mg side effects of metronidazole 50mg in cats how long to stop plavix for endometrial biopsy uses for levofloxacin amoxicillin dosing 3 yr old foro viagra sin receta ciprofloxacin 500 mg for halitosis prednisone swollen abdomen neurontin and alopecia cymbalta en rijvaardigheid buy dostinex tablets erythromycin ophthalmic and pregnancy finasteride 5 mg per alopecia viagra overnight shipping fed ex can i take elavil to sleep after adipex is itching head a withdrawal effect of lexapro peak time of duration of lasix 12.5 mg in dogs fluvoxamine tablets b.p 50 mg side effects how much monthly propecia can i take l tyrosine with wellbutrin zithromax for cats eyes cabergoline tablet s ip keflex affect on birth control escitalopram withdrawal symptoms amoxil 250 bula orlistat dangers 3 day cialis dosage clomid adelaide taper prednisone schedule cost of accutane in mexico paroxetine price without insurance singulair tablet 4g safe dose cialis tablets australia toddler allergic reactions to amoxicillin can you take gabapentin while breastfeeding paxil 40 mg withdrawal mobiconnect mobilis debit nexium without a rx novamox and augmentin difference solubility of lisinopril accutane for oily skin and mild acne zovirax tablets 800mg over the counter can bactrim treat pseudomonas buy propecia paypal clomid e temperatura basale alta augmentin dose cellulitis buy australian tadalafil side effec and cost of viagra clomid and mild pcos china pills with cialis in it thyroxine triiodothyronine conversion zoloft over the counter patient assistance programs for metoprolol hydroxyzine pam for yeast infection prendre clomid sans ordonnance will metformin help you ovulate what are side affects of terbinafine in dogs fake merck proscar montelukast sodium cmax lizenz viagra is it safe to have viagra with norvasc plavix shaking withdrawal side effects where to buy cephalexin for dogs can men take fluconazole disadvantages of fluconazole how many cytotec and pampahilab finasteride y fuerza can i take 100 mg metoprolol succ in the morning lab work for lamisil viagra peak market share singulair 10 mg plm chloramphenicol 3 antibiotic amoxicillin and gum infection metformina indicaciones singulair in chinese do diabetic people can have viagra atarax and allegra tadalafil combination in india what can seroquel 50 mg pills sell for street value micardis hct online charter vela cipro price propecia pharmacy why drink water with bactrim azithromycin dosage urinary tract infection misoprostol dosage for arthritis propranolol 10 mg akathisia effect of thyroxine on bone density furosemide dose in meniere disease relationship between metronidazole and vitamin k clomid vs injectables iui amoxicillin ratiopharm 1000 mg und alkohol light mucury bleeding after cytotec taking 8 mg of singulair istead of 4mg for a 4 year old meaning of cytotec ce inseamna zoloft metronidazole 500mg for staph doxycycline in the us mylan tablets celexa can you get speedy off of wellbutrin hcl what is safe alternative of propecia average dosage for zyprexa doxepin 60 augmentin bis doze misoprostol eat ingredients metronidazole tablets voltaren cream can azithromycin tablet be crushed clopidogrel portaria take more than 1mg finasteride wo kann man viagra frei kaufen cialis or viagra which is best levitra price cvs cialis wirkt immer can cytotec cause a 3 month pregnancy abortion can metronidazole affect your sperm count erythromycin for scabies ciprofloxacino 500 posologia amoxicillin and ethinyl estradiol tamsulosin viagra sildenafil for diabetes flagyl medicine cost does lexapro side effect cause hot flash cytotec como la consigo uti cipro course 7dpo 2nd round of clomid drunking wine taking nexium marchesa allegra diltiazem 24hr er 120 mg cap side effects kamagra gel beograd apoteka day 3 of clomid spotting viagra a dziecko tadalafil walmart cost what is augmentin 375 mg used for how quick doesa estilapram stop depression how can you jump start ovulation after taking clomid is chloramphenicol tablet good for curing ear damage can you overdose on albuterol using a chamber do you maintain erection after coming with viagra comprar viagra generico contrareembolso farmacia on line cialis svizzera atenolol chloortalidon bijsluiter actavis brand bupropion bactrim ds ip 272 making spironolactone solution zovirax 300 street price of zyprexa what happens when women takes revatio drug cialis wet dreams azithromycin uses for typhoid can you shoot up strattera 60 mg levitra australia prices what does sams club pharmacy charge for viagra can amoxicillin be taken with robitussin can i take lorazepam with augmentin uk can using lasix pills cause thrush viagra cialis buy safe paypal viagra helps a man in making pregnant clomipramine 50 mg for dogs viagra store los angeles valacyclovir and high blood pressure

How can I learn to trust? /Part 1

How does one learn to trust, to be grateful when you only see the failures and hurts in life, how does one surrender and become humble?
by Fr John Bartunek, LC | Source: Roman Catholic Spiritual Direc

Q:  Dear Father John, I have felt a great desire to enter religious life for a few years now, but keep hitting an invisible wall so-to-speak. After attempting the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, the Lord helped me to see that I am not 'indifferent' and have to rebuild my foundation of a personal relationship with Him. In particular He helped me see my utter inability to surrender stemming from a lack of trust. Unfortunately, due to my lived experience of past hurts, I find myself unable to trust anyone, relying only on myself which is then projected onto God and I feel utterly stuck. I feel as though trust requires gratitude, but gratitude requires humility and being humble, seeing and accepting my weakness is utterly impossible when you have established a pattern of trusting only in yourself and so it is an endless cycle.

   Where does one go from here? How does one learn to trust, to be grateful when you only see the failures and hurts in life, how does one surrender and become humble? Is it all a pure gift from God, or is there more I can do on my end as I have been begging for these graces for years to no avail?

   Thank you for your wonderful blog which has been very fruitful!

A: Reading this question gives me deep joy. The grace you have already received is so beautiful! I mean, the grace of understanding the core of the spiritual life (trust) and your need for deep, spiritual rehabilitation in that area. God has been speaking his wisdom to your soul!! You actually bring up at least three separate but related issues. I will comment briefly on them one by one.

Trust: The Heart of Holiness

First, and most importantly, you bring up the issue of trust. However much of the Spiritual Exercises you completed, you can be sure that it was fruitful. The Exercises allow us to confront in a powerfully intimate and personal way the fundamental, universal truths of the spiritual life. The universal truth that struck you the most is the very core of the Christian journey: the need for trust. Sin separates us and distances us from God. All sin – our own personal sins as well as the sins of others, both of which damage our souls – traces its origin back to the Fall of Adam and Eve (that's why their sin is called "original sin"). What was the essence, the deepest core of their sin? We tend to think it was disobedience. Think again. You see, that disobedience was the trunk, but it grew out of an ever deeper root. Here's how the Catechism puts it (#397):

   Man, tempted by the devil, let his trust in his Creator die in his heart and, abusing his freedom, disobeyed God's command. This is what man's first sin consisted of. All subsequent sin would be disobedience toward God and lack of trust in his goodness [emphasis added].

   So rehabilitating trust in God is not only YOUR primary project for growth in holiness, but it is EVERY CHRISTIAN'S primary project! That's not to belittle your journey. Your experiences in life, good and bad, have damaged your capacity to trust in God in a personal, unique way. Your mission in life, your vocation, your way of knowing, loving and serving God is also personal and unique. And so, the path you take to rehabilitate your trust in God will have certain twists and turns, certain epiphanies and setbacks, that will be entirely your own. But, in the end, re-learning to trust God is for each one of us the central, defining spiritual project.

What To Do?

Now we are ready to face the second issue you bring up: "Where does one go from here?" I detect frustration in your question. That's totally understandable – but it's also an indicator that something is askew. I think it has to do with expectations. You are wondering how you can develop trust when you don't have much. You are wondering how to develop gratitude when you don't have humility. You are wondering how to develop humility when you have formed such a strong and deep pattern of self-reliance.

   Let me answer your question with a question. Let's pretend you don't know how to play tennis, but you decide that you want to learn. How do you do it? How do you go from zero to beginner to intermediate to advanced? How do you develop the physical skills and coordination and muscle memory necessary for tennis, when you have none of those things? The answer, I think you will agree, is fairly simple. You learn to play tennis by playing tennis.

Holy Tennis

Growth in virtue (trust, confidence in God, surrender, humility, and gratitude) is similar.  Virtues are moral habits, just as like skills are physical habits. They are developed under two conditions. First, we need to have the raw material. Future tennis players have to have the normal use of all the major muscle groups (you can't play tennis without arms). Future saints have to have the normal use of human nature: "heart, soul, mind, and strength" as our Lord put it (Luke 10:27). From your question, it is clear that you have the raw material. Now you just need to begin to put it into action. Virtues are not developed "once and for all." We can never check a virtue off our "to-do" list. We grow in trust, little by little, by trusting. We grow in humility, little by little, by exercising self-denial. We grow in gratitude, little by little, by saying thank you, sincerely and intentionally, over and over again, especially when we don't feel like it. The sacraments nourish these efforts; prayer and spiritual reading/study informs and enlightens these efforts; the Holy Spirit – directly, through a spiritual director or mentor, through faith-based friendships, and through God's Providence – will coach you.

   St. John of the Cross put it succinctly when writing about the virtue of love (which is the core of every virtue, so it applies equally to trust, humility, gratitude…): "Where there is no love, put love, and you will find love."

   As long as you are patient, even the tiniest effort to trust God will give God's grace a chance to touch your soul and strengthen the very trust that you are using. Remember, at Baptism you received sanctifying grace and the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and at Confirmation you received a strengthening of them. God is already at work in your life.  He is drawing you closer to him. The journey will take your whole life, so don't think that you have to make yourself perfect before God can do anything with you. On the contrary! God is already working in and through your life! Your desire to know and follow him better is already a clear sign that you are growing!

Two Time-Tested Trust Workouts
On a practical level, the saints all agree on two spiritual exercises that directly strengthen our capacity to trust God.

   First, meditating on Christ's Passion. As we gaze on Christ "loving us to the end" (John 13:1), our fears are quelled and we realize, gradually, that even though everyone else may have betrayed us and wounded us and lost their trustworthiness, Christ will never betray us. He is worthy of our trust. No matter what happens, he will keep on loving us. That's one of the core messages of the Passion. On this point, I would greatly encourage you to watch The Passion of the Christ, and go through it gradually, using Inside the Passion as a kind of study guide, or guide for meditating on this central mystery of our faith.

   Second, focus on discovering and embracing God's will in the nitty-gritty of your daily life. We know what God's will is through his Commandments, through the teachings of the Church, through the duties of our state in life, and through the circumstances of God's Providence. Lord, what do you want me to do right now? That question, that prayer, is a powerful ally in your path of growing trust. Because every time we accept and embrace, and try to fulfill, God's will, even with a fragile love and flimsy faith, we are actually exercising our trust in God. We are saying, "Okay Lord, I don't really understand this completely, but I know that you want me to do it, so here goes…" That counts for simple tasks like washing the dishes. And it counts for more daunting tasks like talking about the faith or defending a Catholic position in a conversation at work. This is especially true when God's will contradicts our natural preferences. That's when we get to carry our own crosses, which is the privileged place for exercising, and therefore growing in, our trust in God.

   We have done some related posts on these issues that you may want to read or re-read: a two-part post on trusting in God, and a two-part post on discerning God's will.  If you keep those elements in play, you can be sure that you are making progress, regardless of how you may feel at any given moment.

Follow Your Call!!!
Finally, you mention at the beginning of your post that your trust issues have been "an invisible wall" in following what may be a vocation to the religious life. That may be a ruse of the devil. Being holy is not a requirement for entering religious life. In fact, a religious vocation, like any vocation, is actually, first and foremost, a specific path for growth in holiness. If your heart quickens at the thought of entering religious or consecrated life, you should act on it now. Visit religious congregations; speak with consecrated persons; keep taking whatever next step God puts in your mind until you discover your path. Don't rush, but don't delay! Maybe a good next step would be to finish the Spiritual Exercises retreat that you started (you mentioned that you "attempted" to do the Exercises – sounds like you didn't finish!). If you like that idea, I can highly recommend my confreres' who preach Spiritual Exercises Retreats here. In any case, if God has put that question in your heart, you can be sure that doing what you can to answer that question will help put you on the fast track to greater intimacy with him, and that's what it's all about.

God bless you!

Click Here to Donate Now!

Join the new media evangelization. Your tax-deductible gift allows to build a culture of life in our nation and throughout the world. Please help us promote the Church's new evangelization by donating to right now. God bless you for your generosity.




Post a Comment
Write a comment on this article

Email required (will not be published)
required Country

Most Popular