How to Make Good Friends

Four principles to practice to become a true friend.
by Ale Aguirre, Consecrated woman | Source: Mater Ecclesiae College

Drinking buddy, party buddy, soccer buddy, jazz buddy… Everyone has buddies, but how many people have true friends? A buddy is more of an acquaintance whom you see on a regular basis, but that doesn’t necessarily qualify him or her as your friend.

Friends are more than buddies; in a friendship there is love involved. There are different kinds of love, and friendship is one of them. But they all have one essential characteristic: self-giving.

Although we’d like to know the “Ten Steps to Make True Friends,” there are no set rules. There are, however, four principles that you can put into practice if you want to be a true friend.


True friends make time to be with their friends. They are not constantly checking their cell phone, waiting for that txt msg that will get them out of there. A friend listens because a friend cares. Many of the problems we have are solved the moment they leave our lips, when we share them with a friend.


This is what differentiates true friends from buddies. A friend will still be there when everyone abandons you; he will be there when you’ve fallen and need a word of encouragement to get up. A friend will also ask for forgiveness when he or she has simply messed up. A friend will forgive simply because he is a friend.

Want their best

Not to demand the best of those you love is simply indifference. A friend is not a cheerleader; a friend wants you to be the best person you can be. A friend will not let you go down into the dust, even if you think that’s where you should be. Don’t think friends don’t correct each other or give their opinion. It’s hard to do and to accept, but a friend does it out of love because a friend wants the best for you.  Do you want the best for your friends?

In a movie titled Forever Strong, (which I highly recommend) at one of the rugby player’s funeral, the main character says, “I thank him because he was true friend.” And breaking down into tears, this cool, tough rugby player continues, “He made me want to be a better person.” This is what true friendship is about.

Have fun!

Friends know each other well. They recognize the most particular things in a person. The sound of their sigh, how quirky they get when they are nervous. They enjoy spending time together, talking hours on end about everything and nothing at the same time. They laugh and sing together, they cry and mourn together. They are simply with you when you need it, and they also know when you need some “alone time”.

Friends are like diamonds: rarely found and deeply treasured. People are not meant to go around this world alone; God made us social beings - this means that we need one another.

Be happy you have buddies, but thank God you have friends.


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Post a Comment
Published by: Brother Nathan
Date: 2011-01-23 05:04:39
Dear Ale, Thanks for your article, which helps make friendships genuine and stong. I would just like to add some tangible ideas about how to MAKE friends. Not 10 Steps, but yes 4 rules that always work: SMILE - its the simplest way. USE THEIR NAME - its what they like the most. ASK QUESTIONS - its always the right thing to do. GRATITUDE - it shows them you care. Keep em coming, God Bless, Br. Nathan

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