Finding His Way
Tommy’s journey has ended. He has reached his destination, his true home, and enjoys the embrace of his Father.
by David Kovacs, LC | Source:
The journey home of a young man searching for love. (The First Part appeared last Monday.)
“I asked you if you thought I would ever find God, and you said, 'No!' That really surprised me. Then you said, ‘But He will find you.’ I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time. But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, that's when I got serious about locating God. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven. But God did not come out. In fact, nothing happened.”
“Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit. I decided that I didn't really care about God, about an afterlife, or anything like that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: ‘The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you had loved them.’
“So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad. He was reading the newspaper when I approached him. ‘Dad.’
“Yes, what?” he asked without lowering the paper.
“I’d like to talk to you.”
“I mean, it’s really important.”
The paper came down slowly.
“What is it?”
“Dad, I love you. I just wanted to let you know that.”
Tom smiled and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though he felt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him.
“The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me.”
“It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years.”
“I was only sorry about one thing -- that I had waited so long. Here I was, just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to.”
“Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, ‘C'mon, jump through. I'll give you three days, three weeks.’”
“Apparently God does things in His own way and at His own hour. But the important thing is that He was there. He found me! You were right. He found me even after I stopped looking for Him.”
Tommy’s journey has ended. He has reached his destination, his true home, and enjoys the embrace of his Father, who was watching over him from the beginning. He never found God. God found him, just when he had given up in his search. God is like that. Today, we still demand that he give us a sign, to show himself to us when we want him to, as Tommy did. But Tommy found him when he least expected to; at the last moment. He found his Way.
Information taken from the personal testimony of Fr. John Powell.