Be Anything You Want to Be

“The Church does not see itself able to ordain women, following the long and constant teaching of the Church.”
by Jim Fair | Source:
I was mildly appalled recently when Newsweek posted a major story on its website about the ordination of a female Catholic priest. In fact, the magazine reported that 25-year-old Jessica Rowley was one of “about a dozen women nationwide to make a highly unusual career move.” That is, they decided to become priests.

In a very brief nod toward reality, Newsweek noted that the Roman Catholic Church didn’t recognize the ordination. However, they mentioned that the Church does recognize more than 100 married men who became priests after a conversion to Roman Catholicism.

Apparently this, in the magazine’s mind, had some relevance because Rowley is married. They didn’t mention that there are thousands of unmarried men who became Roman Catholic priests after their conversion to the faith. The real issue, of course, was nicely stated by Sister Mary Ann Walsh, speaking on behalf of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops: “The Church does not see itself able to ordain women, following the long and constant teaching of the Church.”

Rowley’s teaching, and that of the goofs who ordained her, has been considerably shorter and less constant.

As I said, Newsweek didn’t spend much time on the views of the real Church speaking for real Catholics. They did spend lots of time telling us about how happy Rowley is to be a priest, how she looks forward to being a pregnant priest and how she took the “traditional” route to being a priest; she got a master’s degree and served as a deacon.

Rowley may be a well-intentioned soul. She may be a college graduate. But she isn’t a Catholic priest. For Newsweek to present her as such is either stupid, subversive or both.

But I’ve gotten over being upset about it. In fact, if Newsweek will just be consistent in how it covers the stories of the fake-ordained, this is going to be a great opportunity for me.

People who know me realize that I’m a big fan of the Chicago White Sox. Some people who know me might say I’m rather insufferable in my support of the team. I was thrilled when the Sox won the World Series in 2005, but since then the team has fallen on hard times.

Just as there are some people (apparently, Jessica Rowley) who are not entirely happy with the Catholic Church, there are some fans of the Chicago White Sox who not entirely happy with the team’s performance of late.

Now don’t get me wrong; I love the team and I think the coaches are great guys. But if Rowley can reform the Church, I can reform the Sox.

Therefore, let it be know, that Jim Fair is now a coach of the Chicago White Sox. I was elected several nights ago by my family – all Sox fans – in a special executive session at the dinner table.

I prepared for this position the traditional way, by playing baseball, watching baseball and sitting around talking about it with friends and neighbors. And I hope Newsweek is paying attention, because I think my opinions on the White Sox and baseball are worth at least as much as Rowley’s opinions on the priesthood.

But there is one big difference… I’m still rooting for the home team.

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