Real Love for Homosexuals

As a Catholic and a homosexually-oriented man, I am deeply grateful to the Catholic Church for her position on homosexuality and homosexual acts.
by David C. Morrison | Source:
As a Catholic and a homosexually-oriented man, I am deeply grateful to the Catholic Church for her position on homosexuality and homosexual acts. Catholicism, almost alone among Christendom´s churches, refuses to patronize homosexuals with a watered-down gospel or brutalize them with a message of irredeemable hostility. The Catholic Church loves me and all the men and women like me who live as homosexuals. She looks at us as the adults we are and says that we, too, can cooperate with the Holy Spirit to sanctify our lives and "approach Christian perfection" (CCC 2359). She confidently calls us to sainthood and to the narrow road that will bring us there.

I did not recognize the value of this teaching easily. From the ages of 21 to 28, I lived life as a gay activist, accepting and preaching the message the gay community offers today: Active homosexuality, as long as it is practiced "safely" and in "commitment," is no worse than heterosexual activity under the same guidelines. Scriptural or other moral teachings that argue otherwise are simply out-of-date and were probably authored by "homophobes." No one, least of all a church, had any right to tell me how to live my life, and I speedily went about accumulating the things that made up a "successful" gay life. I took a lover for a long-term relationship, bought a condo, got on the fast-track at work, and vacationed at gay resorts. My friends were gay, my relationship was gay, my workplace was gay-friendly, and my life seemed filled with youth and pleasure. But I was not happy.

My heart tossed restlessly, as Augustine´s had also, and every new pleasure sought brought only sharper pangs. After having so much of what the gay world took for granted, I found it wasn´t enough. In the early spring of my twenty-eighth year I turned my life over to Jesus Christ and began to explore what taking up my cross meant. That exploration led me, with fits and starts, to the Catholic faith, where I have lived, gratefully, ever since.

The Church´s teaching on the homosexual orientation and chastity have been two great liberators on my journey, and it´s appropriate to amplify upon them. Much of the uniqueness of the teaching on homosexual orientation stems from the absence of the determinism that characterizes so many other positions. Men and women with a homosexual orientation are not automatically candidates for either praise (on the grounds of their being "oppressed") or damnation (on account of inherent sinfulness). Like everyone else, they can choose good or evil. This is a teaching filled with respect; it recognizes us as children of God and not mere beasts subject to instinct alone.

The Church´s corollary position, that homosexuals are called to chastity, contributes to this teaching´s unique expression of grace because of what it teaches about love. Contemporary culture is filled with counterfeits to love. We say we "love" food, "love" our pets, "love" the outdoors, "love" our parents and children, and "love" our spouses. But so much of the time we do not love them as much as what they can do for us. We love food for its taste, pets for their companionship, the outdoors for its beauty. And we often bind up our love for parents, children, and spouses with conditions and tinge it with self-interest — particularly if a couple has brought artificial contraceptives into their marital life.

This is clear to me in the contrast between life before committing to chastity and life afterward. When I was homosexually active with my partner, we sometimes would call our sexual acts "making love," but it was not so much love as utility. Each made the other, with his consent, a means to an end. But that is not love, and it contrasts sharply in my experience after committing to chastity.

All of us want, and deserve, to be accepted at a deep emotional level for who we are, not for whether we can fill another´s needs. Paradoxically, this kind of emotional commitment suffers most when sex becomes part of a friendship. Chaste love can be difficult at times, but so can all living in truth. I give thanks to God that the Catholic Church understands this well enough to teach it, and I am grateful for an organization called Courage, which exists to help homosexuals live out this teaching. Over the course of my years in Courage I have made more and deeper friendships than I ever did in all my time actively gay, and I am convinced that the Courage witness will help our culture come to a deeper understanding of the true nature of love. 

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Post a Comment
Published by: Land
Date: 2010-12-13 00:06:48
Well, I am actually struggling with homosexual thoughts and it is not an easy thing to avoid it. I had a live a bi-sexual life for a couple years and it hasn't bring me nothing good but problems, a dry spirit, stress, and hard work to find healing and forgiveness from the Lord. At times, I feel trap that I can't be able to get out but deep in my soul, there is something that is trying to help me to get out to live a better and pure life. I believe there is healing for homosexuality but the journey is not easy. It requires a lot of prayer and spiritual help. You can't make it with out it!! Each day, I ask Christ for his grace and love because I depend of him now and ever. There is not any type of love in a bi-or homosexual life. There is just feeling of having sex and physical contact. So, that's why I don't support any gay marriage and I don't believe about their fake love they say they feel. I lived this life and I know how's it feel. I regret the day I picked this sin. My life shouldn't be the way it is now, all broken and miserable. But the good news here are the following: I look for help and I found it at the Divine Mercy. Yes, Christ!! I dont even want to think my life without his mercy. There are days I still struggle with bi-sexual desires but I have a hope that one day I be healed by the Lord. I hate this sin and I will like to do anything to get out it!I know Everything is possible with the Lord. Please, pray for me and others that are struggling with the same sin, so we can find the right path to serve and live for Christ! Thank you, Peace of Christ be always with you all!!

Published by: Steve
Date: 2010-11-19 16:43:20
Mr. Morrison, Thank you for your witness. I cannot begin to understand how great is your sacrifice. I agree with the person who says heterosexuals are also called to live chaste lives. As a married heterosexual, I would be hurt if my spouse decided to go elsewhere for pleasure should something happen to me. Therefore, we are also called to live in chastity. Thank you again for your elequoent witness.

Published by: Mario Pauls
Date: 2010-10-07 08:50:59
A refreshing insight that speaks of the inclusiveness of the Universal (Catholic) Church. For those who would condemn homosexuals from scripture, remember our Lord was criticised for taking meals with prostitutes and thieves. Glib quotation of Bible verse to condemn others is not insightful. Read the overall message and be open to broader insights of theology.

Published by: tommy
Date: 2010-09-08 03:15:53
well done on this article!

Published by: Ross Daniel
Date: 2010-07-19 06:52:21
you just said "Scriptural or other moral teachings that argue otherwise are simply out-of-date and were probably authored by "homophobes."" does this include the bible? which says: 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." if it does include the bible then I am sorry for both you my friend and the catholic church who ignored the scriptures and accept homosexuality.

Published by: Maria
Date: 2010-07-19 20:17:50
@Ross did you actually read the article? Obviously not. You may also want to learn what the Church actually teaches on the topic.

Published by: Alex
Date: 2010-05-11 16:48:25
Hello Mr:Morris I am a 17yr old Homosexual male, I would like to speak and also get some help and insight in this topic I would like to understand what my religion thinks and how I can be strong... I would greatly apreciate it. please E-mail me at

Published by: laurie
Date: 2009-01-01 10:00:00
Thank you for your witness.We are all called to chastity,even in heterosexual marriage. Your witness is a blessing to me.

Published by: Tyrone
Date: 2009-01-01 10:00:00
Dear Mr. Morrison, It would please me to be able to contact you personally about your article on "Real Love for Homosexuals". My opinion on the subject requires more textual space than what a comment may offer. Please send a missive to, if you would be so kind as to be willing to read my thoughts on the matter. Your collaboration will be much appreciated. Sincerely, Tyrone Delgado

Published by: martin
Date: 2009-01-01 10:00:00
Mr. Morrison, like tyrone, i to have questions for you, if you have read my comment please send an email to, please respond, i am a 17 yr old homosexual catholic male that can use your insight into this topic

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