Southern Living

My Heart Lies South
By Elizabeth Borton de Trevino
256 pp.
Bethlehem Books
1-800-757-6831

When my daughter reads a book in one day, I know it is good. In fact, before my oldest daughter had even finished it, her comments had piqued the curiosity of her younger sister, and if by chance number one daughter left it sitting on the table too long, her sister would be caught reading it. Needless to say, my daughter’s amusing anecdotes from the book caught my interest as well. 

With My Heart Lies South, Bethlehem Books has reprinted another fine book to be enjoyed by teenagers or grownups. Although it was written many years ago, de Trevino’s engaging style has a timeless appeal that is as humorous as well as touching as when it was first written. Originally written for adults, Bethlehem Books is offering it along with their older children’s selections. My Heart Lies South is the autobiography of author Elizabeth Borton de Trevino, who is probably most famous for her Newbery Medal winner, I, Juan de Pareja. In My Heart Lies South, de Trevino covers the period of her life as a young independent-minded American woman getting accustomed to the traditional and foreign Catholic culture of Mexico.

With her entertaining style, de Trevino draws us into her private life and those around her, creating an intimate chat about her dearly loved relations and her humorous as well as serious adjustments to her new life as a newlywed in a different culture. Yet this book is not mere frivolous gossip. Through de Trevino, we are introduced not only to a foreign culture, but a decidedly Catholic one. The aura of Catholic life is as much a part of the character as the customs of the people, inspiring in her and us a deep appreciation for her new found life in Mexico.

An outstanding example of the Catholic character of the Mexican people is their attitude toward suffering. As de Trevino states, “But in Mexico sorrow is not considered heartbreaking, pitiful or disfiguring. It is considered to be a mark of God’s favor, by which one is ennobled and purified. . . . The man or woman wracked with pain or borne down by sorrow, stands close to the Man of Sorrows, and spiritually at least, is to be envied by those of us who are safe and soft in our comfort and happiness.” 

This was not pious preaching that she heard, but rather an attitude she saw lived repeatedly. In fact, she saw this attitude in her husband’s family as well as others. In particular, she relates how one man after finding out that he had cancer of the liver said, “God has been good to me, lavish with his gifts. Now He awards me the greatest gift of all. I am to be permitted to share, in small measure, His pain, I who have adored him in every way I know, am to be allowed to approach him. It is as if I were offered the glory of the stigmata. Blessed be God.” He said this while accepting no opiates to dull his senses or kill his consciousness. Truly this is an example of heroic suffering.

One of the more touching customs of the provincial Mexican people is that “all children come to say Goodnight to their parents before retiring. All kneel to receive their mother’s kiss on the brow, and her blessing; she makes the sign of the cross over each bended head, and her prayers go with them for a safe night and an untroubled awakening. Each child kisses his father’s hand, and extends a round cheek for the father’s tweak, pat, or kiss.” 
Another beautiful custom is a part of the wedding ceremony. I have seen a similar Mexican custom here. As part of the wedding ceremony, the bridegroom presents the bride with gold and silver, or a symbol of it, to show that “he endows her with all his earthly goods” and promises to take care of her financially. In the book, she talks about the bride and groom being bound together by a chain of flowers, but I have seen a giant rosary used instead, which I think is a more beautiful symbol to show that they are united in their Catholic faith. 

What makes this book an appealing read is de Trevino’s sense of humor at some of the more odd circumstances in life, whether she is discussing the culture of the Mexican people, or describing her adjustments to young married life. For example, when her husband goes to meet her parents for the first time before they were married what should he be met with at the front door, but his future father-in-law dressed in his hunting garb with his rifle in tow. These and many other humorous anecdotes make for an entertaining as well as educational read. 

By the end of the book, I came to appreciate another culture and its people, especially admiring and loving their generosity of spirit as personified by Mamacita, Papacito, and Tia Rosa. After Elizabeth and her husband, Luis, were married in California, they drove to Mexico arriving late at night, tired and exhausted. “But Mamacita clasped me with such a bright smile of welcome, and around the table were ranged the merry faces of all the Trevinos. I was so tired that I didn’t understand a word of the Spanish, but I understood the significance of the special gift that Mamacita brought out for me. . . . A jet black cross edged with seed pearls that her great-grandmother had worn to Mexico from Spain, as a bride—that Mamacita had kept through the revolution.”

As she closes out the book she remarks that “as the days went by, it came over me that in Mexico one lives not by the calendar year, but by the liturgical year.” Can we say the same as Catholics living in the United States? This remark is very reminiscent of Maria von Trapp, whose many books permeated with the Catholic culture of her home and country, also present a Catholic lifestyle from a different perspective. 

After finishing the book, the reader is left wondering if this Catholic character of the Mexican people and their many Catholic customs are still a part of Mexico. In the epilogue written in 1971, de Trevino does answer this question. In 1971, which was 40 years since the events of the book and 20 years since they were published, she stated that although society as a whole had modernized, the Mexican family had not changed. With the incredible influence of the media on modern culture today, it would have been interesting to have her answer this question still once more. Let us hope that her comments about the family are as true today as they were in 1971. Either way, the Catholic attitudes and customs presented in this book are an inspiration.

Although there are many amusing anecdotes in My Heart Lies South, there are many nuggets of wisdom to be shared as well as moments of serious contemplation. Foremost to be remembered are the people. Every family should have a Mamacita, Papcito, and Tia Rosa. But if you do not, Mamacita’s wisdom, Papcito’s kindness, and Tia Rosa’s generosity can be an inspiration for us to live the Catholic faith in our own families.

With the birth of Emily Rose, Elizabeth Yank is the mother of seven children, five of whom she homeschools in South Milwaukee, Wisconsin.